Day# 25,...........The VA WAY...........I thought and thought about this secret I have been hiding for 6 weeks this very day. I have been trying with no success to get someone anyone to help myself and so many good Veterans and Great Employees who have been devastated by the upper management of the VA........You hear the statistics that 22 Veterans commit suicide each day. That means many others attempted and failed due to poor planing, NOT ATTENTION SEEKING! I know because I did the same thing six weeks a go. But I want some of the people who actually care about US to know why. I have hit rock bottom, no hope, no real reason to live. But why? Well I took my pills lined them up and then took my knife, set it out and began to take them. I sat there outside smoking my cigarettes and then thought about each person who had done me wrong. I took one and thought about the next one and how much I wanted to KILL them. Then a few more I became more and more enraged. I cut my flesh, then another pill. I arranged a bucket to catch my blood. I kept on cutting and taking more pills. The problem was I found myself banging the hell out of a metal pole. I thought about ALL the Bull Shit I have been through, how many Doctors, the surgeries,the medications I have to take for the rest of my life. I thought about the lies, the misdirection the VA uses to attempt to get me to quit and go away. I thought about the other people who have been suffering as well. I thought about the big bonuses the threats if some one reported anything to the authorities. I have seen patient abuse, stemming from physical abuse, beatings, with holding of meds, isolation, and much much worse abuses. After the 4th or fifth cut and the un-known amount of pills, I saw my wife's face who came to find out what the banging was all about. There I am sure the sight of the blood and the crazy way I was acting was too much. But she called a friend who is a Nurse and was told what to do. WHY did she not call for an ambulance? She knew that I would end up at the VA where they would make sure I eventually would be dead. I was never a nasty hateful person until the VA destroyed my life and many others. I am not a killer, SO it was better to kill myself instead of being on the six O clock news for killing people not even worth killing. So now 6 weeks later I am still suffering from so much misery and see ABSOLUTELY NO HOPE FOR ME OR ANYONE ELSE. these rat bastards have stolen my life. G-D Damn them to hell! Please I beg you NOT to give me any Christian advice or verses at all.