I have been counseled by many not to share my personal feelings when I am being harassed by the VA and because of their ability to retaliate at any time. But while I was standing in line at the Police Station waiting for my third incident report because of the VA. I came home and sat down petted my new Dog, gave my wife a snack and just became ANGRY! My mind went back to that day so long ago, as I do hundreds of times at night. I ask my self what did I do that was wrong? I responded like I was told to do, yet that same system didn't do what they were supposed to do. Where was my back up as I have been the back up for so many times when a situation went wrong. I was even accused of being old fashion because I would be the first to respond in order to prevent the Female Nurses from getting hurt. I think back to the minute just before September 5th at 4PM and 4 minutes. In that split second I went from being a healthy middle aged man who just lost 135 pounds, stopped smoking and was no longer a diabetic and came off of 7 medications. Now while standing in line for the third time at the police station I knew there was no chance of me seeing Justice. I also knew I would never be healthy again, I have regained all 135 pounds and more, not only that, I went back on the 7 meds but added 3 more. My physical wounds will never heal a matter of fact will get worse as I grow older. The nightmares are even worse. Now why write this and post it, remember please that 22 Veterans kill themselves every day, and although my situation is different by being an Employee BUT BUT these BASTARDS are just as cruel and corrupt to those Veterans, as they are to the Employees who are treated no differently when they get hurt/report problems especially if they are Whistle Blowers. So if one person someday ever reads my stories and actually says enough is enough and does something for the Veterans and the Employees and me.

Day# 25,...........The VA WAY...........I thought and thought about this secret I have been hiding for 6 weeks this very day. I have been trying with no success to get someone anyone to help myself and so many good Veterans and Great Employees who have been devastated by the upper management of the VA........You hear the statistics that 22 Veterans commit suicide each day. That means many others attempted and failed due to poor planing, NOT ATTENTION SEEKING! I know because I did the same thing six weeks a go. But I want some of the people who actually care about US to know why. I have hit rock bottom, no hope, no real reason to live. But why? Well I took my pills lined them up and then took my knife, set it out and began to take them. I sat there outside smoking my cigarettes and then thought about each person who had done me wrong. I took one and thought about the next one and how much I wanted to KILL them. Then a few more I became more and more enraged. I cut my flesh, then another pill. I arranged a bucket to catch my blood. I kept on cutting and taking more pills. The problem was I found myself banging the hell out of a metal pole. I thought about ALL the Bull Shit I have been through, how many Doctors, the surgeries,the medications I have to take for the rest of my life. I thought about the lies, the misdirection the VA uses to attempt to get me to quit and go away. I thought about the other people who have been suffering as well. I thought about the big bonuses the threats if some one reported anything to the authorities. I have seen patient abuse, stemming from physical abuse, beatings, with holding of meds, isolation, and much much worse abuses. After the 4th or fifth cut and the un-known amount of pills, I saw my wife's face who came to find out what the banging was all about. There I am sure the sight of the blood and the crazy way I was acting was too much. But she called a friend who is a Nurse and was told what to do. WHY did she not call for an ambulance? She knew that I would end up at the VA where they would make sure I eventually would be dead. I was never a nasty hateful person until the VA destroyed my life and many others. I am not a killer, SO it was better to kill myself instead of being on the six O clock news for killing people not even worth killing. So now 6 weeks later I am still suffering from so much misery and see ABSOLUTELY NO HOPE FOR ME OR ANYONE ELSE. these rat bastards have stolen my life. G-D Damn them to hell! Please I beg you NOT to give me any Christian advice or verses at all.

Day# 22......THE VA WAY.........I was going to stop reporting/sharing because nobody cares. But I get a phone call from a new Face Book Friend, she gave me a few suggestions. First she said; " You never know who is going to see it, children have been found by sharing stories on line" She also said; " Be more specific and give a brie back round why you are telling a story" Both are good advice. Then her postings of the VA's BULL SHIT! ( I think that is specific enough) that they are SCREWING US VETERANS! So I will re-read my VA DAY posts and tighten the posts up. At this time in my life I have nothing to lose, especially the fact that between the stupendous inept, useless federal workman's comp which is a puppet of the VA. When the Va tells the workman's comp what to do, they do it. And that includes the VA screwing with my case. Now of course that could never be proven because the VA only knows 3 things, #1 LIE, #2 Shred the lies, # 3 Threaten those who fight them. Well really four things, If they, the upper management gets backed up against the walls they resign before they can be indited. Also I have to BEG yes BEG for Medicine because the rat bastards of the VA and the federal workman's comp have twice tried to destroy me financially either directly or indirectly I am living on less than half of my income for three years and a half at this rate. I have borrowed money from my family, my 85 year old Step Dad to obtain a Lawyer which has amounted to NOTHING! NOTHING! now degraded, humiliated, reduced to being a beggar for medications and supplies WHY? WHY should it come down to this? Why should any Veteran go through much more than I am going through, So I will continue to fight and fight and fight and NOW I do not care what these BASTARDS try to do to me or my wife, yes I include my wife because someone at the VA attempted to kill us by slightly slicing the inside of a friends car who happened to be riding to see a Lawyer to sue the VA for many reasons. As usual the three people I know will read this and will re-post others could give a SHIT! Yes I am pissed, and I am out for REVENGE AND JUSTICE!

Day# 20,.......THE VA WAY.............Signs, sings, everywhere signs, don't do this, don't do that, can't you read the signs..........In the front of the Nurse's office there is a sign. It reads; No matter how minor of an injury, all injuries MUST be reported to the VA health nurse." Now here is the real truth why this must be done. Yes you report an injury but why is that? Protection for the Employee? Absolutely NOT! What it does is, it starts a series of close up, hush up, cover up and cheat the Employee out of all they can , especially if the injury is bad. I will speak of my own attack because of course I am most familiar with it and I can explain the corruption from start and which is still ongoing....... My attack, might have been avoidable if the response team from the medical staff was set in place if the chance of violence erupting. The Doctor announced to the patient he was being kept for observation. But this did not happen because the Doctor broke protocol and told the patient in a hall way with out a code purple team in place. So I was attacked, as well as the Doctor and another Nurse. The two of them were slightly injured. i on the other hand was seriously injured. Now from here there was no one there to inform me on what is the procedure in a case like this. next a team of " Erasers" as I call them go into action. I also was informed that the second in command entered the Nurse manager"s office around 2 AM and changed/falsified what truly happened. Next there was the cover up of the hate crime, then the total re-arrangement of the police report.When I was released from the hospital, I started on a 3 year and 4 month nightmare of loss of wages, two times of almost coming close to bankruptcy, three tie ups with the local Police due to my new PTSD, a threat from the VA to incarcerate me by the number two head person of the VA . Every day 24/7/365 I battle these Bastards and I am at ground zero with them. Now replace my name, my situation and put in 7-10 other employees names and injuries which have their own stories and their own destruction of their rights and their lives as well. I however seem to be the only one foolish enough to try to gain attention for all of us and the Veteran's as well. I pray someday there might be a concerned citizen with power to help me get the attention of the proper people to do a REAL investigation. Again Please, please, share this.

Day# 19......THE VA WAY...........I usually have an open intro here, but today there will not be one........... Everybody remembers the horrific muslim scum bag that gunned down his fellow soldiers at Ft. Hood Texas in 2009. You think that after that situation there would be a re-think on the dedication of who serves the Military. I understand not all muslims are terrorists and are good and faithful citizens. But when a person no matter what they are associated with or what their race, creed , nationality is if they display a hostile mood, mannerism and they show this mannerism with everyone they come in contact there is a problem. Then this same person displays a increase of hostility towards a man wearing a Yamaka who was arguing with a muslim Doctor over a very sick Female who was suffering all day long. I came on duty that afternoon, and when I was taking vitals, she was looking very ill, I asked if she notified the Head Nurse, she replied: " Yes, but she ignored me three times" I approached the Head nurse and asked why she was not attended to?" Her reply was, " oh I forgot and i am busy with the new admissions" Being a low class Nurse in the food chain of the VA, there is little I can do directly. I knew there would be a shift change soon and the Nurse coming on was a Veteran and had no room for the food chain bit or the stomach for a hurting veteran,and to add the fact he as I did had no respect for the head nurse on the day shift who is notorious for letting Vets go without seeing a Doctor. Any way, The night nurse called for the Doctor on call, he did not come at all. We both called again, again, finally he came up and reviewed her chart, he didn't examine her at all. We presented her vitals and her symptoms. He just replied Send to her PA ( Physician's Assistant) I objected, and demanded the Doctor either treat her now or sign for her to go to the E.R. this muslim stared me down and started to leave the floor, I told the Doctor that this patient has been suffering all day and now night. I am going to pick up the phone and call 911 and the Media if YOU do not do something for her. The Muslim doctor started to move towards me......A very very bad idea, I shouted at the muslim Doctor and said " Do not approach me, it will be a wrong decision" He clenched his fist, the nurses stood between us. The muslim Doctor retreated and left the ward. A few minutes later the Doctor called for some medication and a follow up with her PA in the morning. I am A citizen first, A Nurse Second and a Veteran third. I will not or ever allow a Doctor or any other person in my life. I will stand up for my patient's no matter what. The problem is there are hostile forces built in the system that if any medical staff reacts to a situation involving veteran abuse or neglect and rock the boat. I am not scared of the upper management what so ever. And especially a arrogant muslim Doctor. If anyone is willing, please re-post this. I need all the help I can get, Thank You. Oh by the way, one of the most aggravating and upsetting thing that gets the Veteran's angry is the fact that they have muslim for a Doctor. They would often say; " A few weeks, months, years ago I was killing these people now they are My Doctors" Think about that for awhile, being stripped of everything, dressed in pajamas and have no way to mentally/physically protect themselves against these muslims ,especially this bastard.

DAY# 18;........THE VA WAY............SMILE SAY CHEESES!..........So there you are at the VA for treatment and you find out quickly you are being treated like a felon in a maximum security jail. Most of the time the Vet is suffering from a gambit of problems both mentally and financially. A lot of our patients are homeless and have no way to keep their teeth healthy. Now to add to the misery you have a horrible tooth ache. You are taken down to the dental office. They have one, ONE, ONE procedure for a tooth ache, pull it, that's right pull it. Unless you are a 100% disabled veteran you got the all inclusive " pull the tooth." So there is two choices, stay in pain or have the tooth removed. No temporary fillings nothing. So the tooth comes out, Now back to the unit, you are hurting, no pain meds just the traditional useless Ibuprofen . Maybe just maybe if there is time/manpower you might get a chance to lay down. We the people allow the politicians 300$ hair cuts, have gyms/pools/executive privileges beyond our imagination. The president ran up millions of dollars in vacation costs at the tax payers expense. But G-D forbid the government would take some of their kick back money and provide monies for dental insurance for the veteran. i wish, no pray, that some day people would actually read the stories I post and give us a damn and do something about it. Why is there so much silence?

DAY#17.....The VA WAY........Why me L-RD?.........Sundays were always my best days, I would prepare my sermon for the message of G-D, I took a serious stance on the word of G-D. When in the pulpit, I was a guest of a friend and the words that came through that I prayed that they would be straight and true. It was my intention never to place my self or add human frailties/silly jokes and NEVER EVER preached health and wealth garbage as so many do today. Now after 3 years and a half, my faith has diminished, so I thought. I have stood in the heat in the cold with a paralyzed hand and screamed/cried out " WHY ME, WHY ME L-ORD, why have you taken my share of your grace and given it to someone else?" I thought to my self, am I any different than the next person? Is their sin less than mine? Am I so unworthy of a blessing and have right to justice? My senses eventually caught up with me, I realized that my suffering must have a meaning, a purpose.But what am I supposed to do? Then in that still small voice I herd the answer. it is my responsibility to cry out for the Veterans like my self, I think of the soldier that left his/her's bones/muscle/blood/sinew on the battle ground. For some that return home might be whole, but their minds/heart even their souls come home damaged. Then the real war begins, they must fight, beg, for assistance. Who wants to hire a limbless Veteran? Not many. Why should a Veteran fight for health care, why must they endure filthy corrupt management of the VA who are secretly SUCKING monies/properties/resources out of the Veteran's allotments? Why does the corrupt/cowardly/disgusting fools of the congress and the ignorant and hideous LIARS of the senate who bluster, and promise increased funds for the VETS then out of their true mouths (their arses') they quickly strip much needed monies to pay for something that fits their needs. All of this sickens me, I have my own battle with the sub-human animals of the VA, but I feel it is my job, my calling to be the Giant, the loud, the nasty mean spirited straight shooting pain in the ASS voice of the downtrodden Veteran. AND SO HELP ME G-D I WILL FIGHT EVERYDAY TO GET THE MESSAGE OUT! As usual only few care only few actually read these stories, but one day if the government is so callous towards the Heroes of our Country, one day you too will face the same harshness as the VETS DO!